9 months old

How did this happen.

It seems like only yesterday that we found out we were expecting just over a year ago now. Then when she was born premmy being so tiny. That constant fear we would loss her. Now our tiny miracle 5lber now 20lb 70cms tall at 10 months old so not really a baby anymore.

The last few weeks she has suddenly just grown up. It not even that she doing anything much more then before, she just seems more independent and talking a lot. She can now say a lot of things, copies us constantly and surprises us everyday with a new word. She now eats so well and her reflux is pretty much under control. Unlike last time I posted. She is sleeping better however still not fully in a routine, with teething and the heat wave currently not helping. 

We got her weighted and put on a different medicine for her reflux, which we had research and heard from other parents on a Facebook group for reflux and allergy babies. This other tablet seems to be working wonders. It has been two weeks now and she is taking her milk without fussing, falling asleep better. No arching her back or screaming all the time. She generally happier, less constipated with much better bowel movements. She is not really being sick only on very odd occasions, no more rash, crying or arching. Basically a different baby. Still has her  frustration moments because of her teeth or when she is tired, in all she is so much better.

As I said she is now sleeping and eating better. We kinda given up on trying to set a routine instead just following her and what she needs. I think it has settled us all, because we are less stressed and so is she. This was mainly due to being away in London to stay with friends and family therefore there was no point when travelling, in a different house and around other people including young children. She was not in her safe, familiar environment therefore no point trying to set or keep a routine. We were out and about so she sleep bits and pieces in the pram. Falling asleep when she was actually tired. I definitely believe this gave us the freedom to just let her sort her self out, allowing us, mainly myself, to just let go of trying to have a routine or plan. Exactly what my OCD needed after lock down.

Whilst we was away we also was able to relax a bit where I felt better in public, I was not as anxious being out, in parks or near people whilst outside. Still did not go inside shops with Ariyah. We did have to get the bus ones which did freak me out a bit. No one was wearing masks or staying the distance. Also some people where really rude tell us they will suffocate if they wore a mask so we should cover our baby. that one thing I will not be doing again for a while especially in London.

We did manage to see lots of people and do so much,  it felt so good after such a long time in lock down. It was so good for Ariyah to spend time with our chosen family, see more people and just be out. Being around her older cousins helped her so much developmentally too.

Things we did.

We went to her cousins 1st birthday seeing family again for the first time since Xmas. When she was 9 weeks old. This was lovely to see her with her 1 and 2 year old cousins all playing together. The boys were so gentle and loving with her. This was also Ariyah first train and bus journey since Febuary/March.

In London we went to Battersea park, where we feed the ducks. Ariyah loved it, saying duck and trying to throw bread in. She wanted to get in the lake with them haha. We took some lovely photos of us all and the kids together. Then we even braved going in the playground. We put Ariyah on the swing and slide but with us so she didn't touch anything. First time since lock down so second time ever in the park.

On the Tuesday we went to Tooting Bec Common to met the LGBT playgroup we attended before we moved. Where us adults social distance as much as we could but the kids were able to play together. This was lovely to just chat to other adults and parents again. To see all Ariyahs baby group friends all grown up too. We again played in the park a little, still very nervous of these things.

The following two days we spent with another family member, seeing her little cousin who 3 months younger then Ariyah. We spent time there and Ariyah enjoyed chasing the kitten and her 5 year old cousin around. We also went to see my old colleagues from work who couldn't believe how big Ariyah had gotten. She was amazed at how clever she was. Then back to our cousins on the Friday we went to the park with them were we slashed around in the little pond. Ariyah-Mai loves the water, she was walking through it and slashing her big cousins. She likes all the rough and tumble with her older boy cousins. It was nice to see her building relationships with other children and family again. Then later we went park with her Aunty Shan and MJ. Got to see our friend Chris's again who is a trans guy due to give birth in 5 weeks. More little cousins for Ariyah.

On Saturday we went to Battersea Park zoo to see Ben's friend. Ariyah-Mai first time at the zoo, she loved all the animals, mainly the monkeys and donkey which came right up for us to stroke. She got very spoilt by our friend who got her a sloth toy, as well as her first proper vegan ice cream. which as you can imagine she created a hug mess! After we took a walk through Battersea park where there a water fountain in a large water pool. Loads of kids were swimming and slashing it in so we took MJ and Ariyah in. As she loves water so much, she didn't want to get out so me and Ben took turns taking her in, as she swam and slashed around. 

Later that day we had a social distance walk with a young boy I used worked with. It was nice to see and catch up with his family. Ariyah was crawling and trying to run after him. On Sunday we venture home with another friend who drove us back and spent some time at ours with Ariyah. Whilst we unpacked and tidied.

One thing that did happen was Ariyah decided to give us a worry and banged her head hard on a TV unit whilst trying to stand. This resulted in an a&e trip to Kingston hospital due to falling asleep then waking and vomiting. Lucky she was completely fine, smiling and chatting to all the nurses. We were in and out within minutes. She got to go in a blue light ambulance which she was not so keen on this time. She had a small mark on her forehead which vanished the next day, also was her happy chatty self like nothing had happened.

 It was a very busy week away, Ariyah-Mai was exhausted but could tell it really did wonders for her social and emotional health, development and just gave her the chance to explore, relax and learn. With lots of first or things she hadn't done in such a long time. Now we have her other cousin, our niece who is 3 staying with us for the week. So very busy. We met some new friends at social distance picnic in our local park with some parents in the area, this was nice to met other parents finial after moving and not being able to met people or go to baby groups. Then to give Ariyah some friends. We also spent lots of time with her cousin playing, going for walks. 

Then recently we did another first for Ariyah. She had her first trip to the beach. We went to dymchurch beach with my cousin Beth and her three kids. The ones who 1st birthday we went to. It was there first time at. A beach too. It was so lovely as it was hot, with a nice sea breeze. It was not actually too busy so kids were a able to freely crawl around playing. Ariyah loved it she got to crawl and play in the sand and the water. She completely loved the sea, she was so confident slashing in it, sitting and walking through it. She wanted to go in deeper, so we took her in and she was loving swimming around. She laughed when the big waves came which most kids including one of her cousin were scared of it. Yet she had the best time which was just so wonderful. To see her experiences new things. She also went on her first little ride which was the tea cups and a little boat one that went round. Again she really like it despite the spinning tea cups she was laughing away. Such a dare devil and adrenaline baby we have. 

Other things that she started doing because of this week away is talking a lot!!! She says so much now and been listening and coping everyone. MJ who is 3 has really helped her learn to share, play with other children and just communicate more. I post on my previous post about all the new words she says, so go take a read.

New words or phases. 

She started just randomly talking more everyday. She now replies with yes, no, or a very sassy maybe. She seems to just respond and talk constantly. And there are word that she randomly say in context too. So we trying to get her to use the word for us to know her needs. Like yes, no, more, milk, food, drink, help, up. 

Funny things she said. So today stood at the door to the back garden. Which is her favourite place atm because the cats go out so she watches them. She say kitty and cat now. As well as Hayes. She goes hi cat. So today her first little convo. she at the door says

 "dada, cat."

I said yes "Hayes is there, he sleeping" 

Ariyah. "get cat" 

I Said "he doesn't want to come in"

Ariyah "get him in" 

It was so cute and her first ever kinda conversation, that we could make out as she babbles replies to us constantly. But this was very clear that Ben heard from the kitchen. 

Other things she said. 

• Dog
• Help just started this one. 
• Good girl (to herself, as her cousin says it)
• Nana. 

There more but as I said she catches us off guard with replies and words that we didn't even know she says, she copies us bit also just says things in context like money and picks up her toy monkey. Or ball or baby or cat to those things. 

Milestones this month.

Along with talking, Ariyah-Mai is now listen more and can follow very basic instructions like get me the ball, or following us by crawling where we need her. Or give to daddies and she hand us whatever it is she shouldn't have. 

She is now clapping too, which happened very recently. She was bring her hands together and shaking them for ages but had no interest in actual clapping. Then whilst we were away she just did it. Now she does it all the time, managed to catch it on camera too.

 

She is standing now to, she can stand independently without holding on by pushing up off the floor. On top of this she stands there for a long time before sitting back down. When holding on she can easily walk round things and navigate her way around toys, furniture well whatever is in the way really. She very good a lowering herself back down instead of just dropping to her bum or knees, this is so good because she so independent and we do not need to be right behind her every time she stands up. She also able to bend down pick a toy up and stand back up again to then let go. With this she will be stepping in no time. 

Ariyah-mai is walking holding one hand, she walks round with just holding a finger. It all about confidence ones she learns if she drops to get back up there will be no stopping her. She has started to run holding one hand now, then will let go and take a couple steps before falling into Ben's or mine arms. She know her daddies will always catch her. 

She eating well as usual, self feeds majority of the time unless it's things like jelly or yogurt, we tend to load the spoon then she take it and feed herself. But now she use her hands and pincer grip for everything else. We do have to just put a small amount on her tray and she has a tendency to just put everything in her month at once and has gagged or choke on a few occasions. But she eats every large bits now, chowing very well. She loves her food. Milk has cut down which is great because she is eating more and drink lots of water in a straw bottle or plastic water bottle, like sports squirt bottle or fruit shoot ones. She could eat all day if she could. We can no long eat or drink in peace because she wants it, she so president and will climb up us to get food. 

we went out for dinner again first time since lock down, it still weird being out after 4/5 months being in doors. especial in pubs or shops. to adapt to this new world we living in with masks, social distancing. shops having one way systems, having temperature checked at doctors or work before entering the building. then pubs and restaurant having to do contact-less service from a distance. the pub we went to was a little one by the river, it has a garden which is how they are operating now this is all good on a nice day but when winter hits and its cold and raining i wonder how these place will open. No one other then staff are entering the building, they have spaced out there tables to be far apart to adhered by 2 metre distance that the government have set out. then you order in a make shift bar which is two tables again so staff and the public are 2 metres apart, they take your order, you pay by card. then they bring out your drinks or food put them on the table step back as you step forward and take it. there a Que and hand Sanitiser provided with outside toilets. its all very strange. but it was nice to be out, Ariyah enjoyed exploring and sitting at the table/ on it. she had her first meal out ever! with lock down and her reflux and allergies being changeling when we eat anywhere else. 

She has learnt to climb onto the sofa too which we have to watch as she will roll around and dive head first off it. We have been teaching her to turn around and slide off backwards to stand up, which she can do, however she will go head first and laugh. So she knows what she doing, luckily our sofa is quite low and she does catch and slide off with her arms. She also getting so cheeky as she get something she not meant to have and laugh at us as she crawls away. Or she will start to climb looking at us to see if we are watching and laugh. 

No new teeth yet still has 8 but definitely teething badly so we are expecting back ones coming in soon. With this she has now learnt to bit which has not been fun. She crawls up and bit our leg. We have had a few occasions where we had to tell her no and move her when she tried to bit her cousin this week or the cats. 

Overall she just growing up at a blink of an eye, she getting very big and clever, we have her 9 month review next week. Then lots to look and plan for. Her big brothers 2nd birth anniversary. Then daddy Ben's birthday and her 1st. As we now are planning for which is scary to think our baby will be 1! 

Therefore keep posted and look out for more updates of these exciting times ahead. 

some extra photo to see how big she is getting and her bond with her cousin. 

Communication

 Baby talk.

As parents we all wait for those first words wondering what they will be, wishing for either mumum or dadad however there are many other ways in which babies first learn to communicate. Along with ways we communicate to them and respond to our babies needs.

I am going to go through very early stages of communication, from the early crys, facial and body language or little ques babies may do to express a need. Then as they grow babbling leading to words as well assalternative ways, like gestures or sign language that can aid communicate skills and development.

So from the moment babies are born they communicate a need, whether it is for a feed, sleep, nappy change or cuddle. They are communicating. At first it is hard to know what they are trying to express. But as a parent you learn the difference in their cries or moans to disinquish what it is they need. However that may be difficult, like with ariyah it is okay if they do not have different cries and you can't tell what they need, instead just go through them all have they been changed, are they hungry, tired, need a cuddle, in pain, teething, sick ect... It took us a while because ariyah did not have different cryes or ques at all. Still now it's hard but we can tell more. through routines that we have set or now that she is starting to talk, point or sign. Before she whould go from smiling to screaming in seconds.

Other ques on top of crying might show what it is the baby wants, for example rubbing eyes or yawning when tired, or hands in month and slapping lips if they need milk. Then biting or rubbing side of cheeks or ears if they in pain. Again some babies have very clear ques from a newborn however many do not. Ariyah-mai being one of these. She chow her hands or anything she can when she is teething and very moany. Then with her reflux and allergy she aches her back, crying and wiggling when she is in pain but in terms of milk hunger ques she didn't show any. Just would scream in hunger straight away no warning. Again her needing changing we did regularly when we feed her so she was always clean.

It was only around 5/6 months she showed some difference in crys and showing hunger signs before getting to screaming. But more so now as she older, as I said through her routine you can tell when she tired as she rubs her eyes and lays down. She be irrriatble and winy. Then when she hunger for milk she still just crys but again we catch her before that with having a routine. She gets very hunganrgy for actual food tho. She loves her food and will get very grumpy. But she can tell us now by eirther crawling near the kitchen or her bag where snacks are. She does say or sign milk sometimes. Obviously teething she bite on everything cry and chow so that's a clear sign.

Babling
Babling is such an important milestone, as it is where babies first start to learn about sounds, two way conversations and building relationships. Therefore it is even more important to bable back to your baby,. By coping their sounds, making different pitches and ranges with your voice for them to try and mimic back. Also use facial expressions for feeling for them to be able to pick up on tones and moods, within speach. Along with babbling actually talk to your baby, this exposes them to word as well as ryhme of language. Singing is great to teach ryhme and tones for sentences later on. Just talk to your baby, as your cooking dinner, doing chores, at the shop. Explain what your doing point out things that the baby can see and describe them. You might look abit strange walking round the supermarket but it is so virtual for babies development. As they are exposed to so many words, speach patterns and expressions, which they soak in. Their brains are like sponges they listen and watch taking it all in then with start to vocalise themselves. The more you sing and talk and interact with your children the better intellectual they will be.

I must say with my job in special education it something I have training in which is called intense interaction that's based on the interaction between baby and their parents. Then as a parent myself using this skill i do have an advance to be able to truly know the postive impact it will have on Ariyah-mai. That said my one thing, like my pet hate as a parent is when people do not talk to there babies/children. They learn from us and the world around them. The more they are exposed, the greater there chance so just talk, doesn't matter if you look strange or it even makes sense just interact, be there in that moment with your baby is the best thing any parent can do. Does take money, or much time. So please talk interact and build those bonds.

Other means of communication.
Whillst talking to baby is so vital, there are other ways of communicating which are just as important or aid speach which for some people is even more vital. Then others for example if a family member is deaf, mute (can't speak) or has special educational needs/disabilities then other forms like sign language, body/facial expressions and gestures are the only means of communicating. Whereas for others it's just extra ways to aid speach, understand as well as teaching them to be inclusive to everyone. We have been signing with ariyah since she was very young. She understand many signs but can also now sign milk, more and yes. We sign finished and wait she is trying to learn those at the moment.

So the point I am making is interact, talk and just encourage all forms of communication with your babies or children. It's never to late for them to learn to sign, or another language they learn a alot more when they are so young. Talk to your babies, don't be too worried about looking silly. Also reading to them or signing helps them pick up speach, tone, pace and the whole process of sentence structure in order to communicate. They learn two way conversations where listening is just as important as talking. You can never talk to your baby too much!

Ariyah has babledd and spoke from a very young age. We feel this is because we have always talk to her, told her what we was doing, pointing and looking at toys or things, while describing them. We sign, sing and used our face/body language to cconnect with her. So she has been able to let us know what she wants before she can even talk fully. Although she is a chatter box. No stopping her now.

First words- so people class a baby first words differently. As all babies bable and minic sounds they will generally make sounds together that minics a word they hear alot. However at first they have no understanding of what certain words mean it just coping. This is why me and Ben do not count these as first words or any words until she has consistently said it with meaning. Like baby and picked up her doll. Or when we were with her little cousins who is 6 months old, she says baby and stroked her face. This shows she truly know the meaning beind the word. Or when we ask her questions she very clear at saying yes or no. Or more. She looks at herself in the mirror too and says me. She also signs me or more along with the word again showing she knows what the word and sign means.

Ariyah first word was her name ar-iy-ah which she said broken down like that but it was coping us and sounding it out. But then her actual first word with meaning that she said on her own was hiya when we got her up in the morning she waved and said hiya. Dad and daddy came after that. Now she talks all the time.


Words ariyah says:
Yeah
No
Hiya/hi
Byebye
More
Milk
Me
Baby
Dog
Cat/kitty.
Dad
Daddy
Dada
Nana
Wow
Brother whilst look at photo of Nico. This was a specail moment.
Then (brov) thanks to her aunty.

Other random words we think we heard:

Drink
Yum
All gone (cat ran away)
Run a few times
Mj and boy (her cousin)
Duck- quack. Once when we saw ducks
Gi (her cousin)
Said aunty once
Tries to say monkey (lots of teddies/ favourite toy)
Bum pooy (few times when changing her)
There are more but I can't remember.


One hard things being trans daddies is that Ariyah-mai has started babbling mumum which all babies do without it having meaning. She has not really heard the word other then recently with her aunty as her younger 3 year old cousins says mummy. Ariyah did say it a few times and it was hard, us being daddies. Getting asked where her mummy is by strangers or how she came into the world if we are together. So that can be hard as it is trying to explain we are transgender and her dad's. Without her now saying mumumu. We realised that she does tend to babble it when she is frustrated. Then said it when eating so we say yum yum to her. She also says me me me alot when again She wants something or more more, which can sound alot like mumumum.Hopefully she becomes more clear with what she is actually saying but at the moment I think it's just bable. Despite knowing this it still hard to hear when we are male and dad's.