Fathers day

 Fathers day 2020. 

Technically this is our 2nd/3rd fathers day. In 2018 we were pregnant with our first. We found out at the begining of June so it was every early days but we were still daddies. Then in 2019, we not only had our angel son celebrateing from heaven but we were also pregnant with our rainbow. We did celebrate both these years as we were fathers from the moment we created life however it was special as this year having the chance to celebrate with our rainbow baby.

It was our first offical father's day with a living earth baby to cuddle and kiss. Celebrating the joys that everyday fatherhood has brought over these last 8 months with our daughter.

While she is still young it was still lovely. Me and Ariyah made daddy Ben a card, whilst Ben got me a book from Ariyah and a sloth rug. As I am obsessed with sloths that I have manage to pass this love down to ariyah who. Seems to love them too. See cuddles all. The sloth teddies she has aand loves look at her sloth wall stickers.

To have our daughter to hold and kiss is so magical on this specaail day however still very sad that we are daddies to an angel baaby who can not be here to physically hold or celebrate with. Whilst this is sad and we honor him everyday. We have to know hee is always with us. We see his smile and cheeky personality without his little sister. We have to make sure she iss cherished and doesn't feel like second best. Nico will always be our first and our son but Ariyah is also our gift and little miracle spent down from heaven from him.

We had a lovely day, we also had our newpth and sister (chosen not blood family) here for the weekend which was nice. We basically help raise him and have been there from day one. Caring for him alot when he was young. Then helping him develop, learn and grow. We watched him grow to this funny, cheeky and sometime sassy boy. His dad unfortunately is not around and it was so nice to get presents and love frrom him, as his male role models in life. We always look out for him as our own. Mj your two uncles have got your back. We love you.

Thank you shan our choosen sister for cook breakfast and making the day extra special.
So whether this is the first or 30th fathers day you. Are celebrating and whether your hhave the chilldren, dad's, grandads or faather figures with you on this day or not. Let's not forgot those we loved and lost and those we still have here to be thankful for.

We hope you had a great day as much as possible and make memories or to honor those who can't physically be here on this day. Weather your a child, a daddy, step daddy, uncle, grandad or mum that plays dad role. Or just someone who takes that roll on for anyone happy fathers day to you and for all those non binary parents out there.

7 months development.

Another month already!

Time has really speed by I cannot believe our baby is going on to 8 months in just a week. She has grow up into this sassy, independent, funny human that me and Ben could not be more proud of.

For a tiny premmy baby who we truly could not believe to be blessed with after lossing Nico and having a very scary, difficult pregnancy. To see her now reaching above her milestones. Catching up with her weight and hight, is amazing, a dream come true. Of course with yet more stress, scares or bumps along the way. She truly keeps us on our toes.

So lots has happened this month, both with ourselves, Ariyah and the world.

Ariyah-mai seems to skip a month, at 5 months there was lots of millstones, some first's and growth happening. Then six months not much changed just lots of really trying to crawl and more talking. Then again this month she is just all of a sudden doing everything. Therefore I will break it down into sections.

Milstones.

Biggest one! We have a Crawler. 

So after weeks of frustration, as Ariyah-mai tried so hard to crawl. She would constantly roll onto her tummy and get herself worked up. She could turn and shuffle in circles, but would just end up pushing backwards instead of forward. We tried everything to encourage her with toys, all her favourite things even the sky remote but nothing. She would push forward if we put our hands behind her feet or she is by the sofa. She then started getting up on want I could only discribe as a monkey crawl, with her fist on the floor and up on her toes. She then would step her feet in and out but couldn't get the idea or had the strengh to move her arms so would just drop forward. We decided to just let her do it in her own time, we didn't want to put pressure on her, as she was getting herself very stressed. She preferred pulling and standing up at the furniture or us, she would walk holding our hands because of this we thought she skip crawling and just walk.

Then one morning out of nowhere we were all in her room. She had woken up early at 5 am so me and Ben were tired, she was playing on her mat while we sleepy talking about the day when we caught her out the corner of our eye crawl (well drag herself) to reach a toy. Now there is no stopping her. she is getting fast everyday and it's very funny how she does it. So she uses one big toe to push and her arms to lift up slightly and drag forward. Normally the opposite arm to whatever toe she using like a side ways swim.
(Edit as I went to post this Ariyah starts crawling fully on her hands and Knees)

She so much happier now she can crawl. she can go from sitting to crawling. She can pull herself up on whatever she can, mainly us or the sofa, where she then can cruise around and stand. Her favourite most happiest place is when she is stood at the sofa playing. If we hold her hands, or waist for balance she walks and even tries to run. She very good and will step over or round objects. She stand at her toys to play and can get her own toys off the shelf or from her box now. This has improved her frustration massively although she still gets annoyed as she will follow us to pull herself up and walk. Quiet often she forgets she cannot walk alone yet and will let go of whatever she holding and tried to step but falls. Not yet got the ballance, but she very good and catching herself or falling onto her bum or knees, to just do it all over again. We are always near and catch her if we need to but as I said she generally catch herself before we do. That way she learns to get herself back up. She very determined and persistent always has been our strong fighter so I know she will get there and be running around in no time.

Another great achievement is she can know walk with her first step walker. She started standing and holding it but would push it and not step. We had to stop it from rolling to far so she didn't fall. She would also stand leaning over to play with the toys on the front. Then again one day she was standing at it, I was stood behind in case, when she pushed it as usual, instead of falling she started stepping. I followed so scared incase she fell but she kept going. She can now lean sideways to be able able to step to the side and even backwards to re balance herself. She still really like her sit in walker we use in the kitchen, mainly because she can go very fast in it, turning round to open the carpboards and the bin. So please wish us luck for the next coming weeks as she starts to walk. We will be chasing her, as she tries to pull and get to everything (she already gives it a good go, but her daddies are quicker right now!)

Talking 

Ariyah-mai talks/ babbles all day long. From 5/6am she is shouting, laughing and chatting. More so this month she has been making lots more sounds. Including more words sounds, like yeah, no, oh, hmmm, and many others, that have become very clear, responsing to whatever we are talking to her about. This week she started saying hey, hiya. Sometimes hi or hello but mainly hey. She also has been waving. We practice, by getting her to wave whenever we are on facetime to friends or family. Or on our walks when we came across neighbours (at a distance of course). She then been doing this in the morning or when we get her up from a nap. She will say hay and wave with the biggest smile, getting all excited to see us. It is the best part of my day.

Another not so great sound that she has mastered is screaming/skriching. So the joys of a babies high pinch screwl. She does this mainly at the cats to which they run away. Mainly Hayes, she doesn't do it to oakly as much and he seems to not care. But yes it's very loud, hight pitch and great at 6am. But it is still amazing to see her so happy and get excited. She laughing all the time now and finds it funny when she is cheeky, if we mess around and tiggle her.

We try to get her to say dada, but she just laughs at us. Oh she's clever, it is as if she thinking 'haha dad's I know what your tring to do' . However she was got a certain call that sounds a bit like daaaaaadd that she will do if she has woken up after her naps or if she is playing and we are doing something. There is definatly a disquished noise for us. Which is so good that she is chatting and figure out ways to get our attention. She also working out which one of us she wants for certain needs, or just because. She getting very independent and clever but also loves cuddles, kisses and our undivided attention to play, laugh, and climb all over us.

Teething 

Ariyah-mai got her first two teeth at exactly 5 months. Now her top two lateral incisors have come through just as she turnt 7 months. With her top middle and bottom lateriaal incisors moving into place and emerging. Ariyah really struggles with her teeth. While this time round it has not been as bad, it's still hard on us all. She gets clingy, irritated and it effects her sleep. Maybe she is getting used to the pain after the first lot came through but also she is older that she is able to actively get the teethers or anything for that matter to chow on. Instead of waiting for us to figure out what she wanted. Despite this calpol is still the only way to settle her.

Chart showing what each tooth is called, the placement and when roughly they start to come in. I have circled the ones Ariyah has. 

With her 4 more following soon.

Feeding/weaning. 

Weaning is still going well she loves her food, for a few days she did go off it and then was wanting milk more, she would now have more amounts of milk in one go but stopped drinking her night bottle if she had dinner as usual. So we had to shift timings around, to get her to have the night bottle in order to sleep through the night again. She has picked back up on soilds, having more oz each milk feeds but dropped a day time bottle and nap. Thus for a while it was abit all over the place with her routine, resulting in lots of trial and error. By shifting things around I think we are back to a better feeding routine. She is eating a lot again, but prefers blended whole meals over finger food. She can handle bigger lumps so we can just mash/ cut her food up. This is because she get annoyed at herself if she cannot pick food up, or that she is not getting a alot of food. Where as with blended dinners she can get enough food. She does feed herself with the spoon. Again she would get frustrated us feeding and helping her. She grab the spoon off us and get upset when we took it back to refill the spoon. 

Additionally Ariyah loves food so much that with finger food she would not know when to stop, where by she would push the whole lot in her month. For example if we gave her finger slices of toast she put it all in or big massive bits, making herself gag or choke. Then would get distress as she had to take it off her. 

What we found is best for her was let her feed herself using the spoon, instead. We would load the spoon and give it to her. She would feed herself, we would then take the spoon to reload it, and so forth. While explaining its daddies turn as we take the spoon. Then give it back to her, saying 'Ariayh's turn.'  afterwards we put our hand out for her to place the spoon back in our hands. If she throw it on the floor il give it back to her and place my hand out again. Showing her that if she gives us the spoon she will get more. This puts it in her control, because she learnt that we are not taking the spoon or food away in fact we are giving her more. Now she is very good, by giving the spoon back and takes it nicely, feeding herself. Subsequently we do not need the vocal exchange anymore, making dinner time calmer. We give her warning when the food is nearly gone. When it is finish, we show her and sign finish. Again place our hand out for her to give us the spoon. She still does have some finger food, like her bit melts, or rice cakes. She hold bits of toast but we just give smaller pieces, while watching her closely. It is good practice for her pinser grip too. If anyone wants a better break down or tips please comment, or tell us your babies dinner time routines and strategies. Let's help each other!! When these meal time can be stressful. 

Sleep 

Daily routine as I stated before in both her feeding and nap times have been a bit all over the place. Lately we manage to get back into a routine just had to alter it slightly. This was very frustrating because it took us a very long time getting Ariyah into a routine. If you have read my sleep blog (if not go take a read) Ariyah was never a great sleeper. She has short naps, meaning she had multiple a day making it hard for us to get any rest or tidying while she slept. She also would only slept on one of us leaving the other to do the chores. However we did start to get her napping in her cot by mimicking her bed time routine for every nap. Sometimes napping four to five times a day. She needed milk and to be rocker or sung to in order to sleep. We had to ensure she was fully asleep before placing her down or she would wake up screaming. She works herself up, sometimes being sick because of the reflux. Hence it was hard to get her calm again, let alone to sleep. We had to do many walks around the block in her pram. Thankfully she has started to have longer naps in her cot. Furthermore she was sleeping through the night 7:30- 6:30. 

Suddenly she did not nap again, was waking at 3/4 am taking am hour or more to get back to sleep to wake again at 5am. Her feeds were up and down taking only 4/5 on one then more on another. She was so over tired, teething. It didn't help it was so hot at the moment at 26°. She also had problems with her medication and got a rash that could of be an allegic reaction so was very difficult week or two. She was just irritated with the rash and her reflux. Everything just was all at ones and she could handle it. 

Turns out it was possible excma linked to an allergic reaction but can not be sure what caused it. Maybe her meds but also possible soya. We are just keeping an eye and noting down when it comes up and what she has had. I will do a post following our dietitian call in a future post next week so keep posted. 

Other things happening that she is doing. So she is building a lovely relationship with the cat, now she crawling and playing more they come play with her especially Oakley. She shakes their cat toy and loves watching them and chasing them around. The cats are so good with her. 

She is able to move fast now getting what she wants, pulling up and also today started to sit herself up from a crawling position. She can lean and rach out to grasp smaller objects, transferring them between each hand. She is working out how to press buttons, to make her toys work. She loves musical noise or light up toys. She is getting favourite of toys and food disquishing which ones she finds more engaging. Light up toys are favable, like her sensory ball, and bubble tube. Others likes are Mirrors and any sensory stuff. She has started to enjoy reading, and feeling books, for example her touch and feel books. She loves teddies too, where she cuddle, and talk to them. There is this monkey that skreeks when you press its belly. She screams back. And minic the sound it makes as she laughs. Her humour and personality is definatly coming through and it's so lovely to see her sassy funny personalitycome to life

Not to mention one thing we are glad about is she seems to have stopped needing her dummy. She never really had it during the day only when getting distress or when she slept. Where as she now just won't take it and doesn't need it at night. It has been about a week that she not had it at all. Her blankets are her comfort. Which we are glad about as now she has teeth she was starting to bite the dummy which is bad for their teeth. So we will see but hopefully that's her no longer needing dummies. 

Oh we have even started experiencing tantrums, mainly because she is tired. It's been so hot and she in pain with her teeth as well. As well as this rash. She has just not been herself doesn't know whats she wants. Will crawl and stand herself up at us then maon if we talk or play with her. She want to be picked up but put down at the same time. She started to shout and even pinch or hit if we didn't feed her fast enough, when we are tring to get her dress or change her. If she wanted something she could not have like cat food bowls, sky remote or to be moved somewhere she will scream or have a strop. We firstly tried distracting her with her toys, however we had to start telling her no moving away, so she could calm down. Whilst reassuring her that it is okay. This is when it is dangerous like grabbing the cats, pinching us or trying to touch the oven (when in walker). We are using signing with her and very clear explanation as a result this is getting better. Any tips on how to mangager tantrums at 7 months would be very appreciated. 

Routine. 

With lots of researching asking other parents and shifting things around slowly we are now in a good routine. Where she has drop a bottle and nap. So we had to shift timings, feeds and soilds around to accommodate. 

New routine.  

• 5-6am wake up
• 7:30 Breakfast with some milk in a beaker. 
• 8:30-9 Milk (1hr nap) 
•  10:20 we do baby club on cbeebies (can't go to real one right now) 
• 11:30 lunch and go for a walk 

• 12:30 milk and long nap 
•  4 milk and another shorter nap (3:30 milk and long nap if havnt slept at lunch) 
• 6-6:30 dinner. 
• In the night garden and calm play. 
• 7:15 eirther bath or a wash down, massage. 
• 7:45 milk and down for bed by 8

Sometime we can shift her milk and naps half hour eirther way. Depending on how long she has slept. At every nap we also go upstairs, play a in her room. Get pj on and grow bag. Then sit on the storage box for her milk. This creates the same routine as bed time. This way she knows it's time to sleep. I hightly recommended simulating bedtime as much as possible for naps too it done wonders for Ariyah sleep and frustration. I know some babies don't have milk before each nap which is different but we have too as Ariyah doesn't sit still long enough because she so active climbing and crawling everywhere that she will vomit because of her reflux. Thus her sleeping after milk gives it time to digest and settle. After food we try keep her still by going for a walk so she is sat in pram after lunch or she sits and watches TV after dinner.
She is sleeping through again, is taking soilds and precription milk better. She napping longer only having three which is amazing. Let's hope we can keep it up.

Anyways we could not be prouder of our clever little miracle, she was a fighter from the moment she started to form. Both in the pregnancy birth and now growing she is defining all odds and proving the world she is a survivor. Look forward to the next month and leading up to her first Birthday as we begin to plan. Daddies are so proud ariyah but don't grow up to fast, where is our tiny premmy 5lb baby gone. She is now this cheeky, clever, funny very sassy human. Talking, crawling almost walking. Getting what's she wants and going where she wants to. Keeping us on our toes. Wouldn't change you for the world however demanding you can be.

Covid 19- easing lockdown.

Conrovirus.

This year so fair as been busy, and is a wierd world to live in right now. While ariyah is young is sad to think I first year of life is so isolating. Whilst shee gets both her daddies home spending lots of time together she is missing out on so much. Simple thing to like doing down a slide, sitting in the park going to the beach and the sea. Then missing out on building those early bond with people. She is growing up fast, all her family are missing it. Yes while there video calls andd we can. Spend photos it's not the same as that cphysicssl connect, hugs, kisses hearing her laugh and seeing her personality. For her she not getting the smell, touch and connection from extended family beyond us. People tell us she young she won't remember or know the difference but as parents and for our family it's heartbreaking to not share all these amazing moments. Her crawling talking ect... Not having any photos of her with other people. Wee will have to. Explain this as she gets older. 

Other things like baby clubs and her being about to be around of children or babies her age. To watch and learn from peers and build those social connections are so important. Yet she will never get that. We been watching baby club and joining in on cbeebies or showing herr video and photos of friends and family so she can at least see other people. Especially noww she is getting older to remember faces and voices. There are a few close friends who we video call regularly and you can see her little face light up when they aree on the screen ass she smiles and chats over the phone. But when there other people we don't talk as much or when out in public, at doctors, health visitor  hecks she crys because she not used to stranger orr people anymore. This is deeply upsetting she was so social and loved being out, seeing people but now sshe doing to be clingy. However oness things settle will we slowly build this up and reassure that it's okay. 

Hopefully as things start easing now she is begining to talk and walk, so we can go out and explore the world. She will be used to this different normal now with people keeping away in the street, crossing over. Everyone walking round in masks and shops social distancing. To the point that if thing ever go back she will be confused when people don't cross over or come close to us. What an anti social world right now to be raising a child. You teach them to be friendly, to share, to be affectionate now that's not the norm anymore or safe so we have to find a balance in all this. 

We are now here in the UK starting to come out the other end of this lockdown. We have stayed home, and kept safe, due to covid19. This horrible virus that has spread across the world,  taking millions of loved ones from people everywhere. It has been scary times for many however the end is in sight. They had eases some rules, more shoppes are opening, people are able to go back to work and some children can go back to school.

People can now meet outside, like friends and family in local parks, or in gardens as long as it is a maximum of 6 per time and social distance is still adhered to. This means keeping 2 metre apart from anyone not living in your household. Many people are unsure about this ease on restrictions because there is a lot of anxiety and lack of confidence in our governments choices. While other are now taking it as lockdown is over, as if nothing happened. They are meeting in large groups not keeping the distance, going round each others houses and having parties. With the heat wave we had at 25° the beaches have been flooded meaning social distancing was impossible and large amount of people were
gathering. Putting others who are following the rules at risk and the country as this increases the likelyhood of a second wave of the virus.

We are sticking to the rules being safe still by staying home, we go on little walks around the block or to the field early when no one is about. We will continue to protect ourselves and Ariyah-mai. We have gotten to see family which was so lovely. Despite being hard and weird having to keep distance from my own dad and step mum. We went for a walk round the field with the dog and Ariyah. The whole time we keep a distance and sat talking from over 2 metre apart. Ariyah luckly is so young she was happy sitting and seeing them at a distance. But did try to crawl to them a few times and we had to sit her back down. Then my mum and step dad came over in the garden, again keeping distance from us. Ariyah was so confused as it was the first time anyone had been in the garden with us. Then the fact they were standing the other side and not able to play with her. She keep trying to crawl over, which was heartbreaak as we had to pick her up and move her if she was getting to close. To have to do that and not let her give her grandparents a hug was horrible. My mum was itching to just give her a cuddle but knew it was still risky.

Although we haven't been out, neither had my mum nonetheless it was still too early. For now it's just nice to see people face to face even at the other end of the garden. In a few weeks hopefully they can get cuddles. Although it is silly when people can go to work, shops like primark are reopening and children can go to school, but families cannot met or give loved ones hugs.

It's crazy when you. Think about it as uss adults find it harder to manage or adapt but the children of today will take it aall in its stride and not know any different. The things it has effected really show the true seririty of this virus. Which will will document in a letter for ariyah to read and learn about wwhen she is older. 

How the world went into lockdown, countries all around. The world closed shops, schools and people where working or staying home. Doctors offices where over the phone or had one way systems in and out with strict access rules. With everyone's temptures being checked at the door, masks worn by everyone, had to be given a certain seat to sit in which the nurse/doctor would wipe down. Were not allowed to touch anything. Then seen out the back door. Shops all had limited people allowed and limits on number of items each household would buy. Clothes shops where closed and smaller business when bankrupt. Takeaways and restaurants where all closed with some being allowed to deliver. Mc Donald's closed then the world went mad queuing fors hours when they opened drive through. Pubs, cinema, sport centre, parks, everything closed. 

Children where being home school but also families came together and actually spent quality time doing art, baking and many activity they normal would noot get time to do. Everyone didd there gardens and houses up to keep busy. TV shows like soaps where cut because they had to stop filming. Some TV shows even filmed and aired via video chat. Like Live host or talk shows.  People all over Were raising money for the NHS for the animals at zoos or farms to keep them feed. For many other chairies or families. Those risskinng there lives like key works, nurse,  doctors, carers, shop or deliver workers, teachers, bus drivers, bin collectors, posties, all got the reconisition they deserved. It was real community spirt at the heart pulling everyone together. 

Lots of other stuff happen in just six months this year. Like the Australian fires in the new years, which spread and killed many and distroded people homes. Then the conrovirus. There were routs and black lives matter protests everywhere at the moment due to police brutality in American, killing inoccent black citizens. Following a reason iccident where a young black male was choked to death by a police office who was kneeling on his chest and ignored his plee that he could not breath. So. Riots broke out, protests happened everywhere as everyone stood together to stop this long going rasium not just from he police but the state and community too. 

But at least things are settles depite it still being early days, and the end of it all is in sight. The world will never be the same again, I hope for the better. People have come together and realised what truly matters. Wild life and our planet has had time to repair its self from the damage that humans and pollution does. So let's made a better world together, make this horrible virus and the sarrifice worth something. Honor all those who sadly lost their life this year. Fighting for change!

Where our jounery began

It's been 2 years.  

So two years ago our lives changed
massively. We saw those words pregnant, 7 times in fact. We could not believe it and had to take so many tests to be sure. It was our first donation, therefore did not expect it to take first time. But after a dream and then the cat being protective over Ben's when I gave him a hug we just knew to take a test and our dreams come true.

As you can guess Ariyah-mai's is only 7 months so I talking about the first time we became dad's, to our angel son Nico. On the 3rd June 2018. Was when we found our we were pregnant for the first time. We were so excited and nervous. But so over joyed until 4 months later that all got taken away.

For those who have not followed our jounery to fatherhood from the begining wee sadly lost our son 16 weeks into the pregnancy. This was due to a bacterial infection that caused premiture rupture of the membrane. You can go to my other blog and read all about our son and what we went through.
https://twotransdaddies.blogspot.com/?m=1&zx=3ffcb31448627d86

It was the worst pain and heartbreak any parents could experience. Ever since those words we have always been dad's, even if our first baby lives in heaven. However now he is always in our hearts and wee can celebrate his life. We get to see his spirt within our daughter everyday. As well as  having an amazing second chance to be dad's.

Two years on and we have our amazing daughter and little sister too Nico. He would be proud of her and us. We did a photo shoot to honor his memory with Ariyah so as she grows we can tell her all about her big brother who guides her. We already show her photos and talk about him. She will grow up knowing she is our miracle our rainbow. That she is not a replacement but an addition to our unquic and colourful family. With two daddies, an angel and her Along with our biological family and Our friends and LGBT+ who have become family. (don't forget all cats and the animals in the family)

Baby boy your daddies wanted you and love you so much, we miss you everyday. You are missed by many others and also in our hearts, thoughts and the spirt of you baby sister. Please guide and watch out for her. We love you x

Our photo shoot. 

Weaning

Tips and ideas of weaning.

I thought I would write a post on weaning, how we found it and any tips or information about weaning as for many this can be challenging, daunting and confusing. There are lots of information out there telling you want to do and not do, which can make the whole process frustrating for the baby and parents. So want to ease that slightly.

I will state I am not a dietian, nor a professional just a dad sharing experience. So please consultant a health professional with any queries or worries you have. But my main tip first and for most is have FUN.

It a huge milestone and big step for our little ones so explore, have fun and just make the whole process easy for everyone.

The offical guideline are to start weaning at 6 months. Despite this it depends on the baby, many parents would agree. Go with their ques and when they are ready. Check with health visitor (but sometimes they don't always give helpful advice). Our health visitor in London was basically non existent. But since moving she been amazing and a mum herself, which I think makes all the difference. Listen to their guidance, speak to other parents but trust your gut! Only you know you baby the best and what is right for them.

Ques that a baby may be ready for soilds.

• Bringing toys or hands to month
• Watching you as you eat and following food
• Trying to grab your food 
• Starting to wake in the night and wanting more milk
• Baby can hold themselves and sit. 
• Moves objects between both hands and have good motor skills. 
• Makes chowing motions. 
• Will open month when food is offered. 
• If they close there month they are finished. Or look away and not interest. 

Sometime you have to wean early for health or other reasons. For example because of reflux. This was our reason. 

We went against our health visitor because she just didn't really care. But took gp advise and advise from family and friends who knew from experience. As I have blogged abit about Ariyah eating you will know we started weaning at 3 months she was 14 weeks.

We started using baby rice, which we mixed with her precription milk. She ate 1-3 Spoonfulls, once a day for a long time then went to 5-10 Spoons. Sometime once or if she been really sick with her reflux we started give a few Spoons in the morning then a few in the afternoon. From 3 month we also mashed up rusks with her milk, then she would suck on the other half as it melted.

At 4 months she was holding the rusk and eating them, and start to have more flavour. We would give her banana which she actually hated and made her more sick. But she enjoyed Ella kitchen pouches and blended carrots. We quickly moved on to blended pouches because she showed all the ques. She has also been strong and could hold her head up at a few days old, she would push to stand or sit up very young too, she was stand and stepping support by us at 3/4 months. She would grab our food or food off family members like her nannies sauage roll. She was very interested in us when we were eating. Licking her licks, opening her month and bring hands to her month. She could sit up. Support at 4 months so we decided to give her pouch.

Once we moved, she was on boiled and  blended veg and fruit which we did ourselves as well as the 4+ months fruit and veg Ella kitchen. She had just turn 5 months at this point and loved her food. She Would have 2-3 meals a day. Nearer to 6 months we started giving her finger food like cucumber, soft streamed carrots, Brocoli, apple. Which she loved, she would hold them herself. She even got her first two bottom teeth so was able to chow.

At 6 months we introduced a lot more in terms of finger foods, wheat and meat. Though we weaned early there is certain things we waited to give her until she was 6 months. As there little stomachs and digestive systems are not ready for meats or wheat based foods until then. But again she loved trying new food, she would give everything ago. Even today there is not much we found she does not enjoy.

She doesn't like banana still, or peas. But loves Mince, chicken, sweet potato a roast is her favourite or Mince, chicken curry too. She not keen on pasta we tried giving it to her blended alone, then mixed with mince and whole finger size to chow, however she spites it out. We brought some baby pasta from boots which are small shell shapes, making it easy for them to swallow. She seemed to like it but definitely not as much as other things. She likes egg, beans, toast and her oginic snacks (rice cakes or veg sticks.) Ice cream dairy free of course is a treat where it has been so hot and she is teething bad.

Anyways I could go on and on of what she has tried and what she enjoys but we will be here all day. Main thing I am getting at was people say if you start weaning early using purree it can put baby off food, thus also making them stay on blended foods longer and hard to transition to them eating finger food independently. This in our case is not true again from other experience also false. I believe because we introduce food, and different flavours and texture early on she is a great eater. She will feed herself finger food as well as letting us feed her with spoon like beans and her yoghurt. She even takes the spoon now to try feed herself. Which is very messy but fun.

Going back to that fun part, let baby make a mess explore the feel of the food, they may eat some or throw it around and eirther is okay. Touching, play and tasting is all part of weaning and all equally important. Some babies wean and take to food early, other do not and that is okay too. Do not get stressed or force your baby to eat. Introduce new flavours slowly in order for them to taste and get used to different things. Explore with textures, thin blended purree or slightly thinker ones, but go with the baby. If they do not like something hold off and try again in a few weeks then introduce this thing again. Their taste bubs change a lot and it may take time to get used to this new world of eating for your little ones.

Sensory food play is great, to get baby comfortable around the feel, smell and taste of food. Peas and Spaghetti are great yoghurt or baby rice with food colouring makes great ediable paint. There are lots of things you can do. So relax and have fun.

Whilst that being said there are some things to be mindful of:

• Never leave baby or young child alone eating, 
• Always wash hands and surfaces. 
• Do not give baby big bits that they could choke on
• Know the difference between choking and gagging (will talk about this further down) 
• Make sure baby is sat safely to eat, in highchair preferably. 
• Always offer water with food. 
• Do not give babies honey.
• Cow milk can be used in food but not to drink until 1 years old. 

Health and safety

Gagging is healthy and part of the weaning experience where babies are learning how to chow and swallow food. Up until now they use a sucking motion to drink milk however eating require different movements of the tongue and chowing with their teeth or gums. It can be scary but its important that they do this to understand what they can swallow and make them learn to chow. Many parents get worried, I've done it myself where you think the baby will choke or is choke when they just gag. It can be scary., therefore it is important to know the difference between gagging or choking and then what to do if a baby chokes. There are lots of video and first aid training parents can do, so they feel prepared, in knowing what to in event that their babies does choke.

Again this will happen at some point and is very scary. I will go through what to do but also what to look for.

Gagging vs choking.

Gagging normally is noisy, while choking is silent. This is the main thing to remember, if your baby coughs or goes a bit red with possible gag noises. This is all natural and part of the baby development. They have a natural gag reflux, located more toward the front of their month and will bring the food forward away from the back of their throat themselves, having no discomfort or effect. Choking is silent, their ribs will pull in, as they struggle to breath. May start to go blue. This is where baby first aid is important by give back blows and chest compressions.

Baby first aid for choking.

If you baby is choking NEVER put you finger or anything in their months you could lodge the object further in. Instead follow these steps, as seen in photo below.

Place baby down on your lap, front ways on with their head down. (see on photo) then give 5 sharp blows to their back just between the shoulder blades. If this does not dislodge the object. Turn them over facing up and give 5 chest compress with two finger in the centre of their chest between rib cage.

NEVER give month to month for choking! 

So with that said there are lots of way to avoid choking and gagging. 

1. Do not leave baby or toddle unattended whist eating. Professional suggest right up to age 3, even better 5 and above alone with food or drink. 
2. Cut food into small manageable piece. 
3. Cut grapes lengh ways, 
4. Make sure food is in long stick piece for your baby to hold themselves and is big enough to not get stuck. 
5. Boil hard fruit or veg to make them soft. 
6. Make sure pips, stones, skin is off fruit and veg. Also that their no Bones or grissle in meat or fish. 
7. Use baby milk to blend or mix up foods
8. Ensure baby is sat upright, strapped into their highchair safety.

Types of weaning. 

There are two main types of weaning tradition and baby led.

Traditional also known as spoon feed, is just that, when a baby is spoon feed. Starting with smooth blends, building up to thicker blends and textures. Until the baby can eat whole foods.

Baby lead is where finger food is introduced straight away and the baby feed themselves.

There are pros and cons to both, which I will not go through them all as you can read alot online. but ultimately it come down to your preference and how the baby is. Do not let anyone tell you your doing it wrong or force you to go with a certain method. Baby led weaning is favoured by many and I know for myself on many groups and forums if you don't do baby led your made to feel like your doing wrong by your child. That it's the only way. But in fact sometimes babies do not take to feeding themselves therefore the tradition way works best. It could then led to baby led or not. But as long as the baby is getting nutrition, is calm and not stressed by weaning that is what matters.

We started with traditional as we had to start weaning Ariyah early she Was too young to self feed. We started spoon feeding, then around 5 months gave her soft boiled carrots, apple and pear. Also the bit melts veg stick. Due to her reflux as well as possible milk allergy it was hard because we had to be carefully what we were feeding her. She need the extra nutrition because she was not having big bottles and eat little and often. So was better for us and her to start with puree then built up to her self eating some stuff. She is an amazing eater not fussy at all. We did find however due to her love of food sometimes she get frustrated because she could not pick a bit of food up or she wasn't getting much. Where as when we spoon feed her she got more. We could keep an eye on what she ate and how much. Where as when she had finger food most of it ended up on the floor. She then got frustrated at us feeding her because she is so independent, she would grab the spoon and try feed self. Which she can do now. So we now combined ffeed, meaning she will have finger foods and some spoon feed stuff like her dairy free yogurt, beans and meat blends  that we feed her.

We have like I said above had people tell us we can't combine feed and it will confuse our daughter, that she choke because she won't know how to chow. That she be fussy and not eat well. However we experienced the opsite she loves her food. Ariyah will try anything and will feed herself and allows us to help (most of the time) this make it easier if we out or on the go, to use Ella kitchen pouches. Then she can also feed herself and we can all sit and have meals together. Just means we sometime have to change what we have due to her dairy allergy.

For baby lead weaning, cut food into long stick shapes which is easy for baby to hold and eat. 

So remember have fun, find out what's best for you and your baby, take advice but do not feel forced to do it a certain way. Be causous but just enjoy and don't forget to document all the different tastes and textures your baby loves. 

Ref:.

https://www.babycentre.co.uk/x25022988/what-is-the-difference-between-gagging-and-choking

https://www.bounty.com/baby-0-to-12-months/weaning/what-is-weaning/baby-led-weaning

Some Photos of ariyah enjoying food.